Ignorance Is Not Bliss

It's hard to describe what has happened since I posted last.

In short, God is changing my life. I almost wish this school was a requirement after the DTS. There is so much transformation that takes place that doesn't happen in a DTS. I loved my DTS and the things that happened. I changed so much during that time.

But this time around, I feel the change in a deeper part of who I am. It's not only changing my mind and the way I think, but it's changing my heart and spirit. The things that matter the most. God is taking everything that's in my mind, crossing the gap, and taking it to my heart. This change is for life. It's for good. It's here to stay.

Something that I love about this school is the practical application. At first I absolutely hated it, thinking it was silly and annoying. Now that I actually understand what it does and see the change that comes from it, I know this is something that I can take into my life after the school.

Sometimes I wish the school could go on forever. Sometimes I want it to end right now, in this moment. It's so hard, but has anything good and lasting ever come form breezing through a battle? How can that even happen? It's a freaking battle! With swords and shields and the shedding of blood! Who could sit through that? Only the ignorant.

I am no longer ignorant. Light has been shed on my life. Whoever said ignorance is bliss must have lived under a rock their whole life. In my life, ignorance has just brought me painful wounds that never healed. I was even ignorant about the fact that I had wounds. Only once I knew the truth did the wounds begin to heal. Yeah, it totally hurts. Every new truth brings new hurt. But it's a good hurt. You know how when you use Listerine it burns so bad, but you use it anyway because you know it's going to kill all those filthy germs? And you know the burning is temporary. It will go away. Healing is just like that. The pain is temporary, the cure is Jesus, and the true bliss lasts forever.

Ignorance is not bliss. IGNORE-ance is undiscovered wounds. Darkness. Death.

I was scared to allow truth into my life. I'd lived so long in my darkness and ignorance, I was afraid to come into the light. But it wasn't because I was afraid of the truth. No. I wanted the truth. I was just afraid because I didn't know HOW to walk in this new light. HOW to live in this new way. But because of this fear, I wasn't growing. I wasn't allowing the Holy Spirit to touch the deepest parts of me.

I had to overcome my fear of the unknown. We had a teaching on the Holy Spirit and who He is and what His functions are in the trinity. His biggest attribute is helper. As Jesus said before He left this earth, He was not leaving us alone. He was leaving so that the helper could come. I learned through this that He, the Holy Spirit, is going to help me. He is going to teach me how to walk in the light and in this new way of living. I don't know how to do this, but HE DOES. And He wants to help me through it!

So don't be afraid of the light. Allow it to shine into your life and bring about an everlasting change. I'm not going to tell you it's easy. I hope no one ever says this to you. I'm going to tell you it's hard, but the hardest things in life are the best things in life.

Luke 9:23b-25

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?"