Little Angels

I was recently a counselor at a camp for children in the foster care system. It's called Royal Family Kids Camp, and it's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It's one of those experiences that you go expecting to be a part of impacting someone's life, and you do, but you get more for yourself than you ever imagined you would.

Before camp, we were trained and trained until our brains were bored, tired, and were making our heads hurt. But if we weren't trained, we wouldn't have been prepared AT ALL for what was coming to us. These kids have been through more than I can imagine, and yet they have such a joy inside them. Some of them have been coming to camp for years, and for some it was their first year, just like mine. Our job as volunteers (counselors and staff alike) is to give them the best week of their lives. They can eat whatever they want and however much of it they want. They can wear the princess dress or the spider-man suit all day if they want to. They get to swim every day, and if they don't know how, they get to learn. There's archery, fishing, "gold"-panning, dress-up, kick-ball, make-up, wood shop, and so much more.

I was a counselor to two eight year old girls, and they are two of the most beautiful girls in the world. On the first night, we took a walk up a hill, and I got to witness the fierce determination of one of my girls. Someone had donated a real-deal fireman's suit to the dress up area, and my girl decided that she was going to wear it on the walk, no matter how hot she got. She had on the jacket, the pants, the boots, the hat... the whole shabang. It took a good fifteen minutes to get all the girls up there, and by the time my girl was there, she stripped off the suit, and all she wanted was water. But she was so proud of herself for making it all the way up. She didn't give up. She pulled through. She fought. And that determination was with us the entire week of camp. You want to wear the high heel shoes up the hill? Even though you'll get blisters? Okay, let's do it. I'll be here the entire time, helping you get there.

My other girl didn't know how to swim. So on the first day, she was extremely hesitant to get in the pool. I told her that she would be able to touch the bottom, no problem. But it wasn't until I got in and coaxed her in did she feel safe. I didn't get to swim with her again until the last day, but by then, she had been practicing every day and was so excited to show me what she could do. On the first day, she was using five pool noodles to hold herself up, but now she only needed to use one, and she was so proud! She sometimes didn't even need that one! And she could hold onto the side and kick like an olympic champion.

I saw hope and love not only in my girls eyes, but in the eyes of the other 60-odd campers there as well. They had a week full of people loving on them with God's love and tenderness, and they couldn't get their fill. They wanted more. But at the end of the week, they had to go home, and so did we.

Camp didn't hit me until half a week later. I was so overwhelmed, I just couldn't take it anymore. I had a breakdown. I was crying so hard I couldn't calm down. Finally my mom sent me to my room, telling me that she would take care of the incident that set me off. She would deal with it, I just needed to calm down. And I have, but I haven't forgotten. I haven't forgot their smiling faces. Their happiest laughs. Their screams of delight. But also their screams of pain. One camper in my cabin would scream, just to see what reaction she could get out of us. I realize now that it was a way of seeking attention. It finally stopped when it didn't get her anywhere. By the end of the week, she was the one that always wore the biggest grin.

They all became my little angels. I will never, ever forget this week. It has changed my life's perspective. I can see everyone in a new light. All we need is out Heavenly Father's love.


"Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor. 13:13

Better Late Than Never

I know, I know. I did an awful job at updating my blog while I was abroad with YWAM London Urban Key. But that's putting it lightly. I NEVER updated. And I'm not sure if it's that I just didn't have the time, or if I just got really lazy. (I think it's the latter.)
Anywho...
Some of you know about my next adventure, some of you don't. Here it is: This October, I will be starting another YWAM school. This one is called Foundations in Counseling Ministry (FCM), and I'll be doing it in Buenos Aires, Argentina!
I want to tell you how this all came about. I was on outreach in Spain this past February and I was trying to decide what to do when my DTS ended. My one-on-one (Another word for mentor. Mine just happens to be form Argentina.) suggested this school to me and that I had some options of locations to do it. The two that stood out to me were London and Argentina. After much prayer and talking to others, I was set on doing the school in London. I knew that if I did it there I would be surrounded by those who know and love me, and I would be in a comfortable environment that I knew I could grow in.
All of that changed in May. One day I was praying, when suddenly, all I could concentrate on was Argentina. Argentina! Argentina! Argentina! I began praying for Argentina. I Googled it. I stared at it on a map and prayed over it. After a month of praying and seeking, I knew that Argentina was where God wanted me, not London. And at first, I was upset. I wanted to go to London! Argentina is great, but London is where my family is! After being upset, I was just scared. I don't know anything about Argentina except that in their Spanish accent the "ll" makes the "shhh" sound. That's not much to go off of.
I was scared for a long time. Finally God brought be some peace and comfort. I now find myself getting super excited any time I bring up Argentina to anybody. I've started learning Spanish again, using a site and phone app called Duolingo. (For anyone wanting to learn another language, I highly recommend it.) I've been praying for Argentina, and the base I'll be working with and learning at, which has helped give me a heart for the country and people.
I'm going to be honest though, I am still a tiny bit scared. But who wouldn't be scared going to a new country that speaks a different language and has a different culture than the one you grew up in? And you're going to live there for months in a row?
Yeah, I'm scared of the unknown. But there is no need to be scared of the One who knows my past, present, and future. He is not unknown to me, nor I to Him. Having the knowledge that He's got my back and that He is the one sending me in the first place gives me great peace of mind in the middle of my fear.


"So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:18

"To me, 'fearless' is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death." ~ Taylor Swift